Me and PND

So this time last year I was having some really dark days. I had what could be called a 'difficult' birth with babybear. A 3 day induction which turned into an emergency c section and a heavy loss of blood, with a whopping 10lb 13oz baby to pick up afterwards. Unfortunately both the birth and the subsequent 'care' on the postnatal ward left me reeling and contributed to me developing PND.

A horrible, disorientating illness. You feel as if you've been pithed - like there is nothing in the centre of you to cope with a new baby and all the massive changes that come with it, nothing to centre you and make you realise that although life will never be the same again it will all be fine, and you will regain a sense of self. Several things helped me over this period in my life - not least of all some medication which gave me a little bit of a level playing field to start from - but more than that the help of a local PND support group run by 2 health visitors. This allowed me and others to talk about what we were feeling and most importantly to meet other mothers experiencing similar feelings.

Of course now that I'm better it's strange, and a little sad, to look back at that period and realise that I could have enjoyed it all so much more had I not been ill. This time last year I struggled some days to make it to the front gate of the house............and this year I'm travelling halfway round the world to start a new life, funny how life turns out.